
This Is The Police
by Goose Henduck
Life in Bishopsbeade Constabulary is good…when you’re a Superintendent and about to be promoted again; Grand Master of the Old Velvet police lodge and all set to retire on fictitious medical grounds, with a hefty pension, then head on home to Mother.
Life in Bishopsbeade is not so good if you’re a non masonic bottom feeder… grinding out a living in a clown suit and punting diesel pandas about on back shifts. Drink problems and a non p.c. sense of humour are also not considered assets.
A mistake then to unwittingly hire such heathens for your new surveillance unit, or to pen a port fuelled lament describing your lonely transvestism (and the current state of Mother) and have a duplicitous young pretender unknowingly post it with the invites for your Ladies Night.
Blackmail was never a good tonic for stress, nor for that matter was being babysat by Uncle Ernie all those years ago, however heady heights were not achieved by only eating biscuits, so a hiding place inside the masonic lodge, some industrial strength adhesive and a Smith and Wesson revolver should soon have the pension plan back on track. Shouldn’t it?
Oh Mother!
This Is The Police…a farce in three parts.
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